What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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