Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
