Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
