Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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