You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
