people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize