this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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