yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
