i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize