last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
