Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We left the knife in your bed.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My dick has a subreddit
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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