you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
