We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
