Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
