i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize