Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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