If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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