I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
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