Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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