So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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