There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
