if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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