I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
