apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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