But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
