I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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