Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
