Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
