I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
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Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
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I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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