Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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