just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
