and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
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The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
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drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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