thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
