I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
