Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
