I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
