I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
