i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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