My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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