fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
