so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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