Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
