Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
