Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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