my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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