you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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