so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it's like heaven, but drunker
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
