Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
