sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
