where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
