I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
