there's paper in my vomit.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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