Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
