Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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