we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
