i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
