I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
