he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
