Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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