so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
