apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i out mim tonsoeep
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