it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
