that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
