You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
