Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
