there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
